I quit my job this month and the reason is closely related to the pandemic and the specific situation and leadership I was dealing with. When I got sick with COVID-like symptoms back in April, I sat down and figured out my finances to see how long I could survive on my savings. That was one of the ways I reassured myself that I could leave my job if needed as I suspected that I got COVID from my job. It was an activity that helped me in case you need to do it yourself.

I had started to social distance immediately after March 15 and even my groceries are delivered through Instacart. When I got sick, the only people I was physically close to were my work people. I had been recently divorced and living alone with my cat-son at home. I went to work, I came home, that was it. Even now, the people I hang out with are all coworkers. We have been exposed to each other through work for months now. We are “essential” workers.

Masks were not required back then when I got sick. I was one of the first to wear a mask at work and people were still laughing at the idea then. Some people still laugh at the idea now.

Back then, they were not even testing patients (here in Dayton, OH) who were not in the healthcare industry. I self-quarantined, did telehealth appointments, and had to get better on my own at home. It was tough and I did not want to get sick again. It was TOUGH.

Unfortunately, my work required me to go in. Other than when I was sick for a month, I have been going in every single day and working “social-distance-like” and depending on the location and situation of the day, I am more close to people than I would prefer. In fact, I have been breathing the same recirculated air along with many other workers in close quarters for months and months now. The way the office/lab is set up, we touch a lot of the same stuff as well.

I generally worked with people from the same company, other companies, clients, etc. That is the norm for this kind of engineering consulting position. You are not only meeting and working with people from the same company but also, other companies and clients.

Mask-wearing during the pandemic

Some people at work are onboard about wearing masks, others take it off when they think they won’t be in trouble. And, I mean, powerful people. When people who hold power over you don’t care about the whole mask thing, it is a different level of discomfort.

This is MY American experience during this pandemic. I don’t relate to the Zoom “you are on mute” jokes because I have not been able to work from home.

Without success, I tried hard to figure out work from home options at this company, I was really hoping for at least partial work from home to take off the edge of going in every single day and feeling uncomfortable. It did not work.

I went part-time for a month. That did not really work either.

I worked the evening shift (3-11 pm) for months. The evening shift has fewer people. Of course, the shift was subject to change at any time as well, and it did change. It just seemed to be more a hassle than anything, this job.

I asked for a raise. It did not work. There is no hazard pay for the hazards here. And, I am not in healthcare. It would be one thing to actually feel like this was all definitely needed.

But in my job, I felt that it was more a lack of creativity why we could not have at least partial telework. And, unfortunately, I really cannot empathize with capitalism that fails to be creative or to evolve. If you are going to prioritize profits during a pandemic, get your shit together.

Of course, it’s about individual personalities and specific leadership that makes it all the way it is. I am not trying to burn any bridges now that I have quit my job.

I am tentatively transitioning to a job in the same industry. It is not final. I quit my job without fully finalizing my next job because that is how badly I needed to leave. I thought it was important to share here on my blog what specific situation led to this outcome so that readers can be aware of what was going on. My goal is to be transparent, not to make trouble.

Generally, I would recommend this company and holding a job at this company to anyone. The specific situation that I was in did not work for me, that is all.

I still love the organization and feel lucky to have been part of it and that, too, right out of school.

Most people at the company are working from home, so I am sure their experiences are vastly different. The bright side for them is feeling safe at home versus having to go in, however, they have different sets of challenges, I am sure.

So, as is pretty much the case with any employee, I did not leave the company or organization when I quit my job. I left the extremely specific situation and leadership I was dealing with. Managed differently, I could have been still working at the same company and contributing to other amazing projects.

In theory, anything is extremely possible in a large company with so many opportunities. In practice, your manager is the end-all, be-all of everything.

I will miss my colleagues at the company very much, the many people I have gotten to know over my tenure there. However, going forward, I hope for my life to be more what I need it to be right now.

I really, really want to start enjoying my life more. I have more appreciation for how important that is.

Take pleasure in the mornings, in writing. Breathe. I have a whole new appreciation for breathing.

Breathe…. Breathe fresh air. Go out and stare at Nature and breathe. Look at the sky, the clouds, listen to birds. Know that life itself is enough. Just… be. I want to be. I don’t want to keep fretting and fearing any longer. Being the slave of a success story does not appeal to me.

I have money saved up, so I could quit my job.

Saving money is absolutely essential if you ever want to live on your own terms. Don’t get so used to the paycheck and benefits that you feel trapped into being unhappy.

The mindset that the company will “take care of you” is comforting until it is not and you need an alternative. It’s not for everyone, but I think THIS is the first step in entrepreneurship.

I have not completely figured it all out but I am on the path with this being the first step. Since I spent most of my twenties making less than 25K/year I feel like I have a head-start with this. Money saved is money earned. Does not matter how much you make if you don’t know how to save. Simple as that.

I will post details about my health insurance during unemployment very soon. I am taking back control. Let me know your comments.