Women in STEM might have a difficult time making friends. Something I learned from being the only woman in a technical field (or subfield / immediate office) is that most of the people will actually not be your friend.

The boys generally band together and they are each other’s friends. They will probably not be your friend and you’re going to be kind of on your own.

Women in STEM can have friends too

The good news is that doesn’t mean that you won’t have any friends at all. You can still have one or two friends, maybe one mentor, and that will go a long way in helping your career. Indeed, it will make all the difference so seek them out!

To find these friends, you may have to look beyond your immediate subfield. Don’t be afraid to expand your horizons a little bit so that you can actually find one or two friends who will be in your corner.

These people will be your allies and can make a huge difference, and honestly, all those “extra” friends that you could have had in a different field may or may not be useful or helpful to you for your career.

This is because you don’t need that many friends. 

In this video, I talked about how you only ever need one or two friends and allies to succeed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb7xgUlYfJo

You don’t have to be friends with everybody.

So if you are struggling to make friends, if the boys are banding together and not being your friend, know that you don’t actually need them to succeed.

Having fewer friends is better for your Focus. More focus on your job is a good thing. After all, this is work and you are there to get things done, not make friends.

Having focus, passion, and dedication will go further in making you successful. Often times, the only woman in the subfield is the most successful person in the office as she is doing the most work, and the best work. 

You don’t need a whole lot of friends in the Workplace to succeed.  Really all you need is one or two friends and allies to help you succeed.

Now, why do I say that you do need some allies?

That’s because networking does play a huge role in the success of anybody in any field so don’t forget to include networking as part of your job.

How to land your first job in the industry after academia (indeed, how to land any job ever) – Answer: with the help of friends

How to land your first job in the industry after academia

Think of it as part of your job and be very strategic about networking without investing a lot of emotional energy into it. Although you probably won’t make a lot of friends in the workplace because you’re the only one, that does not mean that you should not Network.

Always be finding ways to put your name out there and have your work be known and strategically Network so that you are a Known Entity.