|
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready…
|
Now that I’m 29 and turning 30 in a couple of months I am starting to appreciate ageism. It’s definitely a thing. People are making a big deal of the big 30 number. I, for one, have always liked to look at the positives, and at my old age, too, I shall do that. Such as right now I am going to tell you 30 things that are awesome about being almost 30.
Appreciation for time (#1)
What I didn’t and have not always appreciated is the importance of time. It’s awesome that I have had more time to get to where I am today than, say, where I was two years ago.
It takes time to build things, to learn things, and unlearn things. Time to get through the slow and messy processes of life. It takes time to make something of yourself. Time to become a mature woman. Takes time to learn to love yourself. And to accomplish things.
Youth is so wasted on the young because young people don’t have the proper appreciation for how time works. That SLOW is OK.
I have slowly built something that is not so easily shakeable now. Yeah, I have lived long enough to have been through some disasters.
But let’s appreciate that I have lived (#2)
Let’s be real.
Nobody is forever 21 unless.. they die young. I am glad to not have died that young. I am glad to be alive through these years of turning older and older while people give me more and more shit for it.
You’re 23? Good for you. You won’t always be and that’s a good thing.
I want more things for you than to just be young.
Being young isn’t a very big accomplishment. Everyone is or was and then they moved on. I hope. So I don’t get the big taboo against age to be totally honest here.
People are so afraid of getting to the 30 number. Like really? I think it’s great. I spent so long and worked so hard in my twenties I can’t wait for it all to be more in a built state rather than a building state.
Finances (#3)
Yesterday afternoon I calculated my net worth. The money I have made and saved and invested to then be what it is now, and yes, that takes time, too!
In my late teens and early twenties, I would refuse to spend six dollars on the new Twilight movie and instead wait for it to come out in the free campus theater in my college. It was ridiculous how little I had because I hadn’t yet had time to build any wealth. Also, I don’t like Twilight anymore, thank fuck.
I would do math at the grocery store to figure out which deals were better for every little item. So much math to figure out which toilet paper rolls or paper towels were better bang for your buck. I’m so good at all this now that it’s all on autopilot and I can focus on greater things, thank goodness 🤣
The point is I still love deals but I don’t have to worry like I used to before. Things are enormously better sorted (#4). I have the deals down.
Rather than being sad about my big 30 double digits, I can be happy and grateful for my
- five digits savings account (#5),
- five digits retirement account (#6),
- and six digits net worth (#7).
Please note that even as recently as two years ago, I did not have the above things but have built most of these after graduating from school (college+PhD). I am sharing these to be transparent and to let you know it is possible.
Because I went to graduate school, most of my twenties I made less than 25K USD per year. Still, making money in graduate school is better than having to pay for graduate school. This helped tremendously.
What is awesome about being almost 30 is that dude, I am DONE with
- College (#8) and
- grad school (#9)!
- These things are behind me and I can MOVE ON to other, better things (#10)
- PLUS, I learned how to save money in my twenties (#11). Saving money is an awesome thing you should learn to do, too, if you haven’t already.
My net worth now mainly comprises:
- home/asset (own by myself ❣️ #12)
- savings account (money saved from the job (the JOB being the #13 awesome thing))
- retirement/investments account (starting with money from job)
The role of privilege
I want to caveat the above by saying that I was born with privilege enough to go to college without incurring student debt. Support during college, aka the lack of student loans, can be the difference between being able to get a home mortgage or not (debt to income ratio) and therefore being able to own a home/asset and build equity or not. I am very lucky to not have any student loans. The home/asset is a significant chunk of my net worth, but I am more proud of my savings and investment accounts because those are more directly a result of my hard work alone.
Student loans can also be minimized by choosing to go to the school where you get the most scholarship, choosing a two-year community college for the first two years of college, avoiding college altogether, etc. I was an international student and chose the school with the least tuition.
Marriage and divorce
I have been married (#14) and divorced (#15) during my twenties and I have learned to live both alone and with another person (ex-spouse). Learned a lot from these experiences so I think these, too, are awesome things. Both marriage and divorce are now behind me, LOL.
I have supported both myself and for part of it, another human financially (#16) during these years. Plus, my son who is a cat (#17). I have had my own health insurance (#18) since I was 18 years old and I have filed taxes as both single (#19) and married (#20). I did my own taxes this year again after five years of filing together and it was the best fucking feeling ever.
I am in control, baby.
What could be more awesome than that? (#21)
I am a BIG GIRL. I do me. I got hit with some big bills this year with being divorced, sick, taxes, home repairs, and I took care of it all and I’m taking care of everything still (#22). Keeping on keeping on.
My heat (furnace) broke in the winter and my AC in the summer. Got it all fixed partly myself and partly by paying someone. I own my home and drive the same car I used to drive in graduate school. So, to append to the finances section, I don’t have car payments either. That, too, helps a lot. (#23)
At a fancy restaurant, I can order the cheapest thing on the menu or the most expensive thing. Depends on what I feel like eating and how much I feel like spending. I can pick and choose and make decisions myself because I can afford it all myself. (#24)
I don’t need approval. Dude 😎 that’s so awesome. Like I just do whatever the fuck I want. Not having a husband greatly helps in this department. I don’t have to consult with anyone before making day to day decisions. Unless of course, I want to. I get help when I want. And otherwise, I’m good.
Don’t need approval is #25 and getting help is #26 awesome things.
Pay for your own stuff
I have learned to appreciate something that no one really taught me but should be taught early (#27).
Ladies, listen up. Earn money. Don’t depend on anyone for your basic needs like housing, food, bills, etc.
Prioritize being independent and having the above ☝️ figured out before anything else. It really helps when your relationships fall apart.
You may be heartbroken about losing a partner, but at least you don’t need them to live your life. Like, fuck. Why isn’t this taught in the fairy tales? Fairies need to have careers, man.
The lesson of learning to be independent is greater than the feeling of being cared for.
Who doesn’t like treats and gifts and dinners that are paid for by someone else? I am sure even Bill Gates would like a treat now and then. He would probably appreciate being taken out and not have to pay. Because it is not really about money, but about feeling special and cared for.
BUT.
Remember that being independent will serve you much better and longer than counting on someone else.
You can live without someone caring about you if you learn to support yourself. I’d rather pay for every dinner than develop a false sense of security and/or dependency.
You never know who you married until you are divorced 😂 Never take a relationship or situation for granted. If you are young and relatively poor, first learn to support yourself. That is the priority.
Dating
Don’t go on a date if you cannot afford your share of the bill. Don’t go to an expensive, fancy restaurant if it is beyond your means. Get fucking McDonald’s. McChicken it up until you have more monies, baby.
People are giving advice and debating about who should pay for dinner on a date and all that shit.
Apparently, if the guy does not pay for dinner, it means they are not invested in you (source is reddit!). They are not serious about you. That is what I have been told. I do not entirely understand this train of thought, but, of course, it does not feel good to think that they might not be invested. Feel free to share your thoughts on this in the comments below!
Having said that, what can the big girl version of me do about this? Not worry, baby. Not worry. Don’t worry about shit you can’t control. Do what you CAN CONTROL. (#28) Learning to do THIS is awesome.
I want to put this shit about dating to rest forever.
I don’t care if the guy is invested or not, or what he is thinking. I care about my side of the story. If he is not invested, his loss. I am invested, very invested, in MYSELF and my growth. I care about being independent and about being respected.
No matter how much they love you, they will not respect you if you depend on them, I can tell you that. So, I don’t really care if they want to settle down with me or not. I care if they respect me or not. (#29) Having this clarity is awesome.
I can always settle down with myself.
Maybe I am too old for the shit that may or may not result from a “free” dinner, but I think you should be, too. Don’t expect strange men to pay your bills, for your food, or anything. You never know what the fuckers might expect in return! There is no such thing as free in this world, and you have better things to do than owe anything to anyone.
My priority for me and for you is to constantly be independent. I wouldn’t even get comfortable depending on someone you have known for a while because there, too, the other person could stop respecting you and start resenting you. Life is so much better when you can call the shots yourself or share it in an equal partnership.
(#30) I am going to have a shit ton of books written by age 30! Now please comment below!
Leave a Reply