I have pondered what to do when feeling frustrated with my job, both on my behalf and for my colleagues. Finally, I came up with this blog post, which I hope helps. I think it comes down to a level of emotional investment and lack of fulfillment.

Feeling frustrated within a job means you are invested. We spend a lot of time at work so I think it is normal to feel very invested in your career and feel you can control things about it. And to feel like there is some semblance of a method to this madness. Cause and effect…

But it is more than that, it is being invested in not just the work, but to an outcome associated with that work.

However, hoping for particular outcomes can be tricky in a career that is around a job position or role. If you got a role, that means that role needed to be filled. If you want a promotion that would mean that another role needs to be filled. That means it affects two roles. While you stay in this role you are helping with the problem of this role. So going up to another role would mean being aware of the politics it affects, for one.

Pushing uphill for outcomes can be frustrating

Getting promoted causes problems to multiple roles and is a heavier lift and probably needs all these things you have to demonstrate first and then you can be promoted or not. Sometimes I think that bosses try to buy time by giving you “all these things” you need to do first. There might be fewer things you need to do if the opportunity aligns more strategically. For that, being more familiar with the organization and its politics would be pertinent.

When we are less experienced with politics, we look at it too much as cause and effect.

I did this so I must get this result.

Something I especially burned myself out over in my career is this. Expecting some outcome or striving for some outcome… pushing for it. Pushing against it. Pushing uphill. A lot of pushing. With some results getting eked out. But mostly pushing.

In a way it is fine, I did what I had to and landed where I landed. I learned a lot.

Being strategic about outcomes applies to finishing a PhD, too, by the way, which I outline in this blog post. Finishing a PhD affects the role you are in right now as you will no longer be a graduate student once you finish! So, you would need to be strategic, again, about MORE than ONE role when you are trying to finish. I suggest staging your next career as a way to leverage yourself out of this one.

When enough is enough

But after pushing uphill for many years or whatever time you consider enough is enough, one has to become a lot more cognizant of what efforts lead to which impacts. What result do you want and can you even get that result with this particular effort or approach? And what I have found in Jobs is if you are not the boss you are not making the decisions so if you get attached to a particular outcome that only comes from a certain decision (which you are not in charge of) the result is guaranteed sadness and frustration.

Now since we spend so much time at a job in this country it is very difficult for human nature to not get affected or invested… it is very challenging to regard it as just a job. And not a higher purpose. We want it all to mean something… it is like when you think about leaving a job, there is grief… well what did it mean? You negotiate with the situation, oh it meant this and it meant that. I had to do that to get this. It brought me to this point in life.

How do we tell the story and find “the one”

We have to be able to tell a story with our experiences. Hopefully, a story that has some semblance of a meaning otherwise it can feel very, very depressing. I have been in that boat. After giving my heart and soul to so many projects, leaving that project, that team, or company, or place, well what did it all mean? What was it all for? And if it keeps continuing like this, where will I end up? When do we find The One in our career?

Bad advice for people who care

Now I know people give the advice to not care.

You care too much. Care a little less.

But that is not good advice for someone like me. I am caring! I like to care, nurture and bring to life something big, huge, from the ground up. Not caring does not go with that job description… so the takeaway here is this realization itself.

The fact that I realized this STRENGTH of mine. That I am caring is a strength. It may not be a strength in every situation but in many situations, it is a big strength. It may not be something that is appreciated by all, but that does not mean there is no value to it. This interest or investment of mine needs to align with the right opportunities. The opportunity where caring is a good thing – then that will go well. Feeling frustrated with your job needs to be turned into fulfillment.

As with water into wine… frustration into fulfillment.

Now what is something that can benefit from caring a lot? Probably a business, my own business. I already know I am entrepreneurial, I do things on the side. I like doing my own thing. There I can care as much as I want and get results. It is not a steady flow of income like a job but I have seen results. Now to scale those results and grow more, I would have to change my approaches, but I already know that this trait of mine is more aligned with entrepreneurial type of projects or opportunities than it is with strictly just a job.

I think many can resonate with this. Basically, for people who, say, raise a kid they are also utilizing that same strength so they might not have the bandwidth (for example) to raise a business simultaneously. Or maybe they do. Many do. But the same strength is being used I believe.

Nice to meet you

All of this is to say that a job, whether you like it or not, will tell you about yourself. I would say that is the highest purpose of a given role or opportunity. Get some stuff done, sure, but also become super aware of yourself. What are your strengths? And just because a trait of yours is not serving in that job does not mean that it is a weakness. It is still a strength, just something that might better serve in a different kind of opportunity.

Slowly, you can adjust your situation either with another job opportunity, business, or side hustle that makes you happy. I don’t think all your strengths as a person get utilized in any given job. I think that if someone is feeling like they don’t know their purpose and are frustrated within a job, that is a great time to note what core strength as a human is not being used in this job but that which would be great somewhere else.

Which lifestyle works for you

A job can also show you the type of life you want to live by putting you in the type of life you don’t like living. This job and this lifestyle is just one way to live… it does not have to be like this forever. This is not a permanent position for you or a way to live.

Maybe you are in a cold place, you can always move someplace warmer. Perhaps you are in a hot place, you can always move someplace more temperate. Maybe the housing is more expensive and unaffordable where your job is.

Well, that job helped you find that out.

Time to move to a different place where the housing is more affordable. The job will help you with your lifestyle choice. And for that, it first needs to make you aware of various lifestyles and their challenges.

So the purpose of this job is to learn about yourself and your lifestyle choices. If you regard it that way, you will see that every day is productive and you can plan out the next thing you want to try that shifts you into better alignment.

Your situation is temporary. This job is temporary.